For those who are not up to my silly pondering again, just skip this post.
Reading and watching dramas have got me into questioning life once again.
For the free thinkers, there is reality and the extraordinary.
What is reality? The true important meaning and matter in live. What comes to my 19 year old mind are health, family, love, money, work, food, house, mortgage! Like I have mortgage..
Reality could be a scary and torturous thing to go through. A person battling cancer would wished to escape reality and live a carefree life; a person in debt would wish he is a millionaire. A person like me...wish to have free-will, love and an audi R8.
Being 19 is like you are stuck in the middle. I still feel like a teen but everyone expects you to be Miss GrownUp. And it could be a hard time trying to adjust. Is it possible of wanting to be young and old at the same time? Like every other teenager (which soon I shall not classify myself with), I love food, clothes, boys(for girls) and games. However, I'm still reluctant to let it go. There is still so much things to do in my to-do list before reaching 20.
The big two zero! The transition from 20 candles to 2 candles, 21 candles to big 3 candles are just so stressful at times. Especially if the pass 10 years have not been up to expectation. I feel old and starts to question myself on what have I accomplished? I know I could still be me even if I'm older but the transition period is just tough sometimes. I mean 'I' don't have the brain I used to have when I was 10. Life wasn't such a huge responsibility at that time. I have pocket money everyday, go to school, attend classes, laugh and study for exams. Tomorrow is just another day. Being older makes me think into what I used to write in essays. 'Penyertaan dalam ko-kurikulum dapat menjadikan saya seseorang yang lebih bertanggungjawab' Funny.. I wish for forever living in Neverland yet still wish for being a grown up sometimes. This is life I guess, reality.
Perhaps I am thinking and expecting too much; or maybe its just the drama that is messing with my head and got into serious, random, silly thinking again. Gosh, I would love my life to be filled more with drama and excitement.The extraordinary! I wish that I would be brave enough to try and challenge the unexpected of me. I wish.I wish.I wish.
3 comments:
Hey I din know you had a blog...and little did I know that every annoying person on this face of this Earth has to be affiliated to me(yes NG & GUEST, dont start pointing fingers to each other, its both of you)...haha
Look like I was right..you are a dreamy girl..hehe...you have a lost expression in class..makes me wanna give you a Perak map so maybe knowing ur exact location would make you feel a tad better..
I understand your feelings...I had that share of mine too. There are times behind all the madness,sadness, joy and tears in our lives where we start viewing ourselves as a puzzle and begin pondering the missing fragments in it. Then we start searching desperately for it but we fail to see the obvious in front of us. Its the little things that make us who we are. Sometimes we dwell on issues that arent within our control or things that we yearn but still seemed so far away..but we spend too little time on the good things- the things that make us smile or laugh and even the tiniest 1 second moment which really made our day..
There is no such thing as fate or a series of events which are written in heaven. Its all in ourselves. We live in our own reality-its all how we want the world to view us.If we have an internal locus of control, we can get whatever we want in life. The utmost paramount thing is to believe.
Dont be afraid of growing up. The freedom and experience gained from it is what makes our lives more interesting. You cant expect the extraordinary or drama or excitement to happen if you want to embrace the life of a teenager. Growing up means getting out of your comfort zone and challenging everything along your path..Then thats when the excitement comes..
Have that strong believe that u will succeed and have that genuine determination that you will get what you want and YOU WILL GET IT..trust me..
Gosh..im typing and typing and typing. Right stop typing..lol..
But im still pondering if its the drama effect that have gotten into you since ure definitely not schizophrenic, demented or whackened out of your senses..haha
Over and out.
Hey Quin dear,
We're all in the same boat so do know that a lot of people are going through the exact same thing as you! Like what your friend mentioned, don't be afraid of growing up. It's part of life and although we wish we can go back to the good old days when we were a bunch of noisy carefree kids, know that the little kid in you is still there. We have to put her aside and be the grown up we're expected to be but that doesn't mean that kid disappears completely.
Life is really a roller coaster so just sit back and enjoy the ride. I believe that we control our fate so just do what you think is right. Whatever it is Su Quin, you know you'll always have your crazy friends who are kinda stuck in this transition from teenager to adult :)
Loves.
Ramone, ha! you've found my blog and THANKS for all da advice..You are not tat annoying anymore since i sorta gotten used to it.(but dun get ur hopes too high).I'm just a little lost but im back on track! And do u have any clue who might these NG and GUEST is? Cos it's weird cos i think only Sarah reads my blog.haha.
All that u guys wrote kinda hit a lot of points.Thanks and love ya Sarah dear.
I'm still crossing my finger and wishing for the extraordianary!!HAhaha
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