For those who are not up to my silly pondering again, just skip this post.
Reading and watching dramas have got me into questioning life once again.
For the free thinkers, there is reality and the extraordinary.
What is reality? The true important meaning and matter in live. What comes to my 19 year old mind are health, family, love, money, work, food, house, mortgage! Like I have mortgage..
Reality could be a scary and torturous thing to go through. A person battling cancer would wished to escape reality and live a carefree life; a person in debt would wish he is a millionaire. A person like me...wish to have free-will, love and an audi R8.
Being 19 is like you are stuck in the middle. I still feel like a teen but everyone expects you to be Miss GrownUp. And it could be a hard time trying to adjust. Is it possible of wanting to be young and old at the same time? Like every other teenager (which soon I shall not classify myself with), I love food, clothes, boys(for girls) and games. However, I'm still reluctant to let it go. There is still so much things to do in my to-do list before reaching 20.
The big two zero! The transition from 20 candles to 2 candles, 21 candles to big 3 candles are just so stressful at times. Especially if the pass 10 years have not been up to expectation. I feel old and starts to question myself on what have I accomplished? I know I could still be me even if I'm older but the transition period is just tough sometimes. I mean 'I' don't have the brain I used to have when I was 10. Life wasn't such a huge responsibility at that time. I have pocket money everyday, go to school, attend classes, laugh and study for exams. Tomorrow is just another day. Being older makes me think into what I used to write in essays. 'Penyertaan dalam ko-kurikulum dapat menjadikan saya seseorang yang lebih bertanggungjawab' Funny.. I wish for forever living in Neverland yet still wish for being a grown up sometimes. This is life I guess, reality.
Perhaps I am thinking and expecting too much; or maybe its just the drama that is messing with my head and got into serious, random, silly thinking again. Gosh, I would love my life to be filled more with drama and excitement.The extraordinary! I wish that I would be brave enough to try and challenge the unexpected of me. I wish.I wish.I wish.